A hard year for our school.
We have endured homework theft
On our school buses, werepoodle
Honor students, and tone-deaf
Cafeteria ladies who make
Disgusting food come alive.
But none of this was as
Devastating as the loss of our
Fourth-grade president,
James nixon mcgarfield.
Who would have expected that he
Would change from a fair and
Just politician to one of
Complete evil... Not to mention
- That he totally tried to steal - my girlfriend.
So it is at this time that I
Would like to thank you, the
Student body, for electing me,
Nigel uno, for the office of
Fourth-grade president.
Who's he talking to?
Boys and girls, friends and
Classmates... The votes have
Been tallied, and it is with
Great pleasure that i,
Wilson woodrow, your
Fourth-grade secretary, present
To you...
Your newly elected fourth-grade
President...
The delightful children from
Down the lane!
- ]] The delightful children from - down the... Wah!
Together: [ monotone ] thank
You, fellow students, for
Electing us as your new
President.
We think you'll find the rest of
The school year to be quite
Delightful.
- ]] Who do you freaks think - you're kidding?
No one would ever vote for you.
Hey!
Numbuh 1!
I wouldn't do that if I was
You!
I'm sorry, nigel.
The numbers state quite clearly
That the delightful children won
The election fair and square.
That's right!
And as your fourth-grade
President, our first matter of
Business is cleansing this
School of troublemakers who
att*ck their own president...
Troublemakers like nigel uno.
You're calling me a
Troublemaker?!
I want a recount!
Oh, you'll have plenty of
Time to count where you're
Going, numbuh 1...
Plenty of time.
[ Evil laughter ]
[ Students talking ]
Mr. Uno, what do you say to
Allegations that you eat paste?
Nigel, are you wearing
Rainbow monkey undies?
Is it true you're a
Homework-eating werewolf?
This is ridiculous!
Numbuh 1 is totally getting the
Chewed end of the pencil on
This.
Don't worry.
We brought in
Numbuh $1.50-an-hour
To defend him.
He is g-o-o-o-o-ood.
And he's a fifth-grader.
He'd better be good at a
Buck 50 an hour.
That's like my whole week's
Allowance!
I told you we'd pay you back.
All rise for the honorable
Delightful presidents from down
The lane.
[ Crowd gasps ]
No way!
Who made you ballot burglars a
Judge?
- This is an out... - ]] Please, mr. Uno.
Allow me to handle this.
[ Clears throat ]
[ Inhales deeply ]
Your honorables, my client,
Nigel uno... A boy of the
People... Is obviously...
Guilty!
And we hereby sentence him to
Life detention!
No! You can't!
No, you can't do this!
Your honors, I wholeheartedly
Object to the...
You're out of order!
You fifth-graders think you're
So smart.
Well, we've had it!
As fourth-grade president, we
Have no choice but to declare
w*r on you and your entire
Grade.
It's about time!
I'm sick of getting wedgies from
Those stupid, ugly
Fifth-graders!
Hey!
i'm a stupid, ugly
Fifth-grader!
[ Laughs ] you sure are!
[ Laughter ]
Why, you little...
Give me back my $1.50!
Come on, we got to get out of
Here and find a way to help
Numbuh 1!
Give me back my allowance!
Come on, let me talk to my
Dad!
I get one phone call!
I apologize for the lack of
Decor, convict, but as I
Understand, y'all kids next door
Operatives are a might handy at
Making weapons out of bed frames
And salad tongs.
- ]] You've got to release me - immediately.
The delightful children have
Stolen the fourth-grade
Election, and who knows what
They'll do next?
What they'll be doing next is
Saving me and the six gum g*ng a
Permanent spot at the front of
The café-teria line, and all I
Got to do is keep you locked up
Safe and sound.
Now sit down!
One comin' out!
[ Laughs ]
One comin' out.
[ Groans ]
Psst!
Pssssst!
Who's there?
Nigel, it's me... Wilson.
Listen, nigel, you won the
Election, and the delightful
Children took it away.
How do you know this?
Someone has to count the
Votes, and the delightful
Children promised me a slice of
Their birthday cake next year if
I...
I...
Fudged the results a little.
Fudged?
They weren't even on the ballot!
I know, I know.
I knew I shouldn't have trusted
Them.
The minute they got elected,
They framed me for tying
Muffy jenkins' shoelaces
Together and gave me detention
For life with no chance for
Recess.
Well, serves you right.
Listen, nigel.
You've got to get us out of here
So we can stop the delightful
Children's plan.
Plan? What plan?
[ Evil laughter ]
After cutting off their milk
Money supply routes, those
Pathetic fifth-graders
Surrendered immediately to the
Power of our fourth-grade safety
Patrol.
And with them out of the way,
The third grade will be even
Easier... And the second grade,
And the first!
[ Evil laughter ]
Fellow fourth- and fifth-graders
Of gallagher elementary, this is
Your president.
We have just received a
Declaration of w*r from the
First, second, and third grades.
While we are normally a
Peace-loving president, we are
Now forced to beef up our army
By instituting a mandatory draft
Of all fifth-grade students into
The fourth-grade safety patrol
To fight this new menace.
So go... Fight in the name of
Fourth-and-fifth graderness!
I'm sick of getting wedgies
From those stupid, ugly first-,
Second-, and third-graders!
Let's get them!
[ All cheering ]
Whoo-hoo!
It's noogie time for those rats!
Wah!
Don't you see what those
Delightful dorks are doing?
They're playing everyone against
Each other for their own game.
Oh, man.
I thought school was getting fun
For once.
Listen, we have to bust
Numbuh 1 out of detention and
Take care of those delightful
Children before they take over
The whole school.
But no one's ever broken out
Of detention before.
That place is rock-solid.
[ Laughs ]
I hope he's having fun in there!
Lights out!
Class, 258 won't just divide
Itself by 18, so you'll have to
Do some long division.
Psst!
Numbuh 5...
Hey, you got any gum?
- ]] You know we're not allowed to - chew gum in class.
You trying to get us thrown into
Detention, too?
Oh, come on.
It's like another 24 hours
Before school is over.
I'm dying over here.
All right.
Yes!
But just take one piece.
Chewing gum in class,
Gorgeous?
That there is illegal.
[ Laughs nervously ]
I-i was just giving it to him
For after school.
Sure you was.
Well, maybe lunk'll confiscate
It...
[ Bell rings ]
So you don't get any idea
About chewin' it in school.
[ Laughs evilly ]
One comin' in!
[ Buzzer ]
Grub time, convict.
Bon appetite, sport.
Hey, lunk, uh...
Got an extra piece of gum?
[ Laughs evilly ]
Not for you, con...
Whoa!
Kids next door
G.u.m.m.b.o.... Gooey, unlocking
Mush maximizes breakout.
Why, you...
[ Screams ]
Uno's escaping!
Get him!
Hey!
All right, nigel!
Come on, nigel!
[ Growling ]
[ Prisoners cheering ]
[ Gasps ]
Don't just stand there!
Get him!
Ten goin' in!
Ten goin' in!
[ All screaming ]
One coming out.
One comin' out!
Stop that!
You don't open the door for
Convicts, you idiot!
What are you trying to do, let
Him... Escape?
Ah...
The presidents of the first,
Second, and third grades.
Thank you for coming to sign
Your surrender.
Like we had a choice!
Yeah, your g*ons blocked off
The cafeteria so we can't even
Eat lunch!
But don't you see?
Finally, our school is united
Under one supreme leader.
Finally, gallagher elementary
Can become the supreme power it
Was meant to be.
Finally, we can expand our
Empire beyond this elementary
School, and united, we will take
Over the middle school.
Look at these kids.
They're not trained to take on
Middle-schoolers.
- ]] And we don't even have real - weapons.
How are bikes and scooters going
To put a dent in their defenses?
I'm scared!
I don't want to fight the big
Kids!
Ah, don't worry, little girl.
I take on middle-schoolers all
The time.
You do?
Sure.
- The first two months of pain - from all the noogies and all
- The dead legs they give you is - the worst.
And then your skin turns purple
From all the cow bites and
Pink bellies.
[ Crying ]
Are you trying to make her
Feel better or trying to make
Her wet her pants?
Don't listen to him, kid.
We won't let any big kid get
You.
Hendry middle school, four
Meters and closing.
Repeat... Hendry middle school,
Four meters and closing.
All right, guys, get to work
On these bikes and see what you
Can do to give these kids a
Fighting chance.
Aye aye, captain!
Where are you, numbuh 1?
You should have escaped by now.
[ Evil laughter ]
Excuse me, master presidents,
- But there's a call for you on - line one.
Excellent.
Now leave us!
Good afternoon,
Gallagher elementary.
Good afternoon,
Hendry middle school.
I trust all is going
According... To plan?
But of course.
After stealing their election
And pitting the grades against
One another, the students at
Gallagher elementary are weak
And armed with nothing but
Stupid bicycles and scooters.
They'll be no match for your
Teenage technology.
Excellent.
Once we defeat your school,
Every teenager in ours will have
Their own little sl*ve to carry
Their books and wash their
Sweaty gym clothes for them.
And for delivering them to
You, we'll be made
Honest-to-goodness
Eighth-graders.
Right?
Just make sure those
Kids next door are out of the
Picture.
Finally, by selling out this
Miserable school, we'll be made
Eighth-graders and be that much
Closer to glorious adulthood!
What?
What are you looking at?
A bunch of treasonous creeps.
Huh?
Any other words you'd like to
Say to the school before we
Throw you out of office?
What?
Aaaah!
You'll pay for this, nigel uno!
This isn't over yet!
[ Students cheering ]
Hendry middle school, three
Minutes and closing.
Repeating... Hendry middle
School, three minutes and
Closing.
The big kids are coming!
[ All screaming ]
Calm down!
Hold on!
Gallagher elementary!
Today, the delightful children
Played our grades against each
Other so that they could become
Eighth-graders.
Me, I'm a fourth-grader... And
If you think I'm going to let a
Bunch of gawky middle-school
Kids come and make me carry
Their books for them, then
They're going to have to do it
Over my noogied, purple-nurpled
Body!
[ Students cheering ]
Gallagher elementary, battle
Stations!
Yeah, let's go get them!
Let's get those guys!
Hey, chad.
Like, gallagher elementary is
Almost totally in range.
- [ Laughs ] - they launched some fighters, but
Just like those delightful dudes
Promised, they're, like, so
Barely armed.
Sweet.
Mr. Dixon...
I prefer if you and
Mr. Cavallero discussed invading
Elementary schools after my
Class.
Yes, mrs. Vanderbarn.
We barely had enough time to
Get this bikes up to fighting
Specs.
How are we going to take on
Teenage technology?
Don't worry.
- Every middle school has a weak - point.
- I've locked the coordinates into - everyone's targeting computers
To find it.
- ]] All right, everyone, this is - fourth-grade leader.
All grades check in.
- ]] First-grade leader standing - by.
Second-grade leader good to
Go!
We're all doomed, but
Third-graders are standing by.
Fifth-graders ready to rock.
- ]] All right, team leaders, you - know what to do.
- The minute you see an opening, - go in.
No problem.
This will be just like riding
The streets of san francisco
When I was 5.
Whoa!
Heads up, g*ng!
Here they come!
Whoa!
I'm hit!
I can't hold her!
Oh!
They got fifth-grade leader!
I told you we were doomed!
Watch out, third grade.
Teenagers coming up behind you.
- ]] [ Gasps ] - ]] [ cries ]
[ Screams ]
I've been hit!
[ Screaming ]
[ Groaning ]
This is the second-grade
Leader.
We're going in.
Follow me!
Watch out for those fountain
g*ns!
Whoa!
[ Groans ]
We lost jesse!
Keep pedaling!
We're almost there!
Coli-i-i-i-i-i-n!
Yeah, it's going to be
Totally cool.
We'll all have little twerps to,
Like, clean out our lockers and
Stuff.
Hey!
What's that kid doing here?!
Dude, like, uh...
Some of the science nerds have
Analyzed the grade-schoolers'
att*ck, and we might, like,
Uh...
Have a problem.
It's those kids next dorks!
Ready my bike.
[ Growls ]
And don't scratch it or nothing!
[ Indistinct shouting ]
[ Screaming ]
Somebody please help me!
[ Laughs evilly ]
Nap time, kid.
Dude!
[ Crash ]
Oh... Dude.
Mind if I drop in, kid?
And step on it, baby!
They're right over there!
This is second-grade att*ck.
- I'm 100 meters to target and - closing.
Wait, the water g*ns have
Stopped f*ring.
Look out!
[ Crash ]
There's an entrance coming up
At seven zero niner.
Let's go!
- ]] This is the fourth-grade - leader.
We're going in.
- The target is right around the - corner.
Well, take it out, then!
All this water is peeling the
Stickers off my bike!
The water cannons...
They've stopped.
Well, that's much better.
Ick!
[ Laughs evilly ]
Whoa!
[ Screaming ]
My stickers!
One down, two to go.
I'm hit!
Stay on target.
I'm on the leader.
Get out of the way!
My left tire!
I got to pull out!
- ]] Don't you go anywhere, - numbuh 2!
We're only 100 meters to target.
Don't worry, numbuh 1.
I ain't pulling out alone.
What?!
[ Sighs ]
Go, hendry hooligans?
Ow!
- ]] There's no one to protect you - now.
Almost there!
Huh?!
Principal hendry's office?
No, no, no, no, no, no, no!
I'm taking the sh*t.
N-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o!
Ha!
Nice sh*t, loser.
Now to finish you.
Huh?
[ Screaming ]
Chad dixon!
What is a bike doing in my
School, let alone in my office?!
[ Panting ]
Hey, there you guys are.
Where's numbuh 1?
I stayed as long as I could.
You got to believe me!
I did all I could!
He's still in there?
Aw, come on, numbuh 1.
[ Growling ]
[ Screaming ]
Oh!
[ Sighs ]
[ Students cheering ]
Nice sh*t, mr. President.
My fellow gallagher
Elementary students,
Thank you for electing me for
The office of fourth grade...
[ Clears throat ]
Uh...
[ Whispers ]
What?!
What do you mean I didn't win?
Um, I just told you you'd won
So you'd help me get out of
Detention.
The real winner of the election
Was...
Eggbert eggleston!
[ Students cheering ]
Eggboy?
Who would vote for him?
[ Nervous laughter ]
[ Whistling ]
Eggceptional...
Eggducated...
Eggunanimalicious...
These are all words kids from
Gallagher elementary have used
To describe fourth-grade
Presidential candidate
Eggbert eggleston.
He's seen good times, and he's
Seen bad times, but eggbert
Isn't the kind to scramble key
Points or over easy on real
Issues.
- Eggbert eggleston... If you're - not voting for him, the yolk's
On you.
- This ad paid for by the "we love - egg boy, oh, yes we do, we love
- Egg boy, how about you" - coalition, and is endorsed,
- Approved, and otherwise - okeydokeyed by eggbert eggleston
- And all members of the eggboy - for fourth-grade president
Campaign.
05x02 - Operation E.L.E.C.T.I.O.N.S.
Watch/Buy Amazon Merchandise
Show revolves around a group of five 10-year-old kids (later retconned to be varying ages), using codenames Numbuhs 1 through 5, who are the main home operatives of what is known as Sector V, which is part of a worldwide espionage-style organization called the Kids Next Door.
Show revolves around a group of five 10-year-old kids (later retconned to be varying ages), using codenames Numbuhs 1 through 5, who are the main home operatives of what is known as Sector V, which is part of a worldwide espionage-style organization called the Kids Next Door.