[Applause]
[Music]
do not try to adjust your TV set for the
next 30 minutes we will be in control we
control the vertical
we control the horizontal
[Applause]
we also control trap doors
foreign
[Music]
[Applause]
everybody
[Music]
foreign
[Music]
[Applause]
[Music]
fibia tibia
Libya how is it coming just fine I'll
have you finished in time for my plan
trip or my name isn't lazy hoopnagel
your name isn't Lacy hoop Nago it's fair
darn straight and don't you forget it
there how does that feel just fine
um are you sure you have to go on this
trip a paleontologist gotta do what a
paleontologist gotta do besides if I
don't bring back kinky I'll never
make a name for myself but you've
already got a name
hooray ah but I wanted to be Faye hooray
the woman who captured Kinky Kong would
you settle for a nice nickname instead
Spike Maybe
we're down there is slime Island I see
why don't you simply wait until I land
the bloody thing how many successful
learnings have you had well actually
this would be my first thanks for the
offer ready or not
here I come
[Music]
[Applause]
sounds like the natives are restless
[Music]
okay boys we take it again in front of
the top have on and the two and uh
[Music]
oh well what do we got here boys looks
like a scientist female type of the
paleontologist persuasion well I guess
how did you know just because I'm
primitive doesn't mean I'm stupid lady
now let me guess you're here to find
kinky Cog why am I not surprised come
this way
well here you go wish you luck kid
you're gonna need it
remember
[Music]
what a dance Jungle I don't see how
kinky car should live here without
leaving some sort of Trail
gotta remember the first rule of the
Jungle avoid the trees say I've never
seen trees like these before
strange hairy bark no roots hmm say I
wonder
oh
[Music]
[Music]
Mr Mr kinky
hi I was wondering if you'd like to come
to America and be a big star in the
Natural Science circuit I can get you on
all the top top shows
yes you you'll be the head of the
Science World and all you have to do is
submit to a few simple tasks
[Music]
the monkey will come to the museum the
museum will just go after the monkey
[Music]
[Music]
[Applause]
come on big boy don't play hard to get
[Music]
sorry I have to miss lunch don't worry I
can find my own way out okay
[Music]
fortunately I came prepared for just
such a contingency
away
[Music]
I'm coming short here in California now
where did he go something tells me he
isn't going to be that hard to find
[Applause]
guess a letter big fella
[Music]
very good wanna guess what it says
that's right you win
now all you have to do is come with me
to the lab and collect your prize
take it that's a negative
[Music]
you can run but you can't hide
[Music]
food
hamburgers
no clouds
Beyond me
I figured you'd be hungry oh
don't be that way a few tests won't hurt
you you can put up with a few tests to
get a nice juicy hamburger can't ya I
made this just for you it has everything
a drawing gorilla needs do you ride
carrots alfalfa sprouts boiled prunes
and calf liver
you didn't let me tell you about my
secret dressing
[Music]
finally somebody my size
nowhere before
[Music]
foreign
[Music]
foreign
[Music]
well he's gone
he did save my life guess I own that
much ah who wants a demo gorilla anyway
footsteps
two Godzilla how would you like Fame and
Fortune
you have to do is come with me and go
through a few simple tests
[Music]
[Music]
push me I want to swing you can push
yourself but I want you to push me and
if you don't I'm telling Mom
Mom kids if you have a noisy brother who
makes your life miserable then you need
the volume control for noisy Brothers
next time he starts
guaranteed to keep your ears from aching
or your money back
and now it's time for a garbage pail
groaner
well your face is finally clean but how
did you get your hands so dirty by
washing my face
[Music]
mom tomorrow I want three minute eggs
but I always thought you liked them two
minutes I know but I need to sleep a
little longer
foreign
hey what's going on Christmas
decorations this time of year it doesn't
make sense oh oh I wish I could have
every one of these toys for Christmas
but it's not Christmas
[Music]
it's not
all I know is we found out this morning
that Santa's coming to town today in
fact he should be arriving at the mall
any minute now see it is Christmas let's
Tell Santa what we want wait what's the
hurry I wanna be first in
[Music]
we're all going to the mall come on come
on it'll be fun
[Applause]
[Music]
it sure went all out even bringing in
real snow the snowman's weird though
look I told you I don't want to see
Santa but why I've been pretty rotten
lately hey no one's perfect come on
foreign
[Music]
thanks for saving my place hey you can't
do that
nice going why wait in line when you can
butt in front of a wimp say what do you
want for Christmas oh
and it better
one oh talking back to Santa
smart Alex you the bike in fact I'll
make it a 12 speed that's the strangest
Santa I ever saw
I've been real good all year I clean out
my room and brush my teeth in get lost
you're making me sick huh don't you want
kids to be good not no more I don't I'm
bored with good little boys and girls
from now on I want kids to be bad huh
why did you hear that the worse you are
the more gifts I'll bring you in two
days I'm gonna deliver a bunch of very
special presents but only to the bad
kids that's awful awful I think it's me
[Music]
you showed that little squirt I'll have
a special Christmas present for you well
I don't need to listen to what you brats
want because you're gonna get whatever I
feel like giving you
what are you doing kid this can't be
Santa sure he is he's gonna bring me
presents isn't he I don't know he
doesn't act like any Santa I've ever
seen before
that kid with the stretchy face ain't
buying your story yeah well I know one
Brad that might play into our hands I'll
pay him a visit tonight
[Music]
what's up all right
Santa where are my presents not yet I
can make a deal I'll give you everything
you always want for Christmas if you
help me me a Santa's helper all right
[Music]
hey kid you want a snowball over here
and there's plenty more where that came
from
[Music]
you won't believe what's going on all
over town look
[Applause]
stop thinking on him mind your own
business I want him to pick on me then
I'm gonna kick his shins that way we'll
both get great gifts you should both be
ashamed tell that to split kick he's
been acting worse than everyone else
here kid keep it up I gotta go reporting
to uh Santa and tell him what allows
you've been
thick
did you see that yeah that snowman's
more than decoration
split kit you're acting like a real jerk
yeah what's with you
I'm being a Santa's helper come on Patty
let's go get the squid let's check out
that Snowman
[Music]
you were right about that kid boss good
soon all the kids will be following his
example
thanks to split kit this town I'll have
a really awful Christmas yeah well we
better start loading this junk into the
helicopter
[Music]
at all
what's his game
and who is he I'll tell you who are you
I used to be one of his spies but now
Christmas has gone too far Christmas
that's his name he was always bad so he
was never on Santa's good list and never
got any presents so he wants to ruin
Christmas for Everyone how can we stop
him there's only one person who can do
anything about him the real Santa Claus
then what are we waiting for
[Music]
everyone jump
there's Santa's workshop
[Music]
hey it's the real Santa who are you I'm
Ellie a mess Mr Claus you see we got
some trouble and we need your help oh
hold on there
[Music]
oh
wow
it's Santa's Computer Central the only
way I can keep up with you youngins
today I'm still having some problems
automating the toy assembly line though
oh
sir oh this is fantastic but we've
really got a problem man well I better
check you out first have to make sure
who's naughty and nice you know
I'm Patty putty oh yes
[Music]
yep you're on my nice list stray days
brush your teeth after every meal how do
you know all that
Santa knows everything well here's
something you don't know there's a guy
going around impersonating you his
name's Chris Masson Christmas
[Music]
never does homework never bangs I
thought I recognized that name from my
naughty list quick we better get going
[Music]
the last house split kids just in time
too it's almost morning
[Music]
phew
hey Santa what'd you bring me a real
Christmas prize
a booby prize that is
and you fell for it sucker Merry
Christmas you won't get away with this
I'm gonna tell everyone you're a bogus
Santa Claus oh yeah
[Music]
what happened to Blitzen during the off
season he works for the Easter Bunny
foreign
they should be opening their presents
right now hey what a lousy gift I was
wrong there must not be a Santa look at
what happened
[Music]
there they are just fly next to the
helicopter and leave the rest to us
thank you
I'll listen the notch
[Music]
no I'm getting out of here
[Music]
I've got a present for you Santa
[Music]
[Applause]
according to my database you've all been
naughty not nice we'll be good we want
presents
the spirit of Christmas isn't just
getting presents you should be good
because it makes you feel good crud what
are you gonna do with these guys I'm
going to let them earn some good points
by putting them to work
maybe you'll learn something about the
real meaning of Christmas by making toys
for others so you were gonna ruin
Christmas
shut up
but if you learned about the spirit of
Christmas
[Music]
this is the bathroom hog once she gets
in she never comes out
I'll be out in two minutes
but two minutes really means two days to
the bathroom hug
[Music]
flip it under the door the only way to
defeat the bathroom hug
[Music]
[Applause]
[Music]
[Applause]
[Music]
[Applause]
[Music]
thank you
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01x08 - Chris Messin' August
Watch/Buy Amazon
Series stars the characters Split Kit, Elliot Mess, Terri Cloth, Patty Putty, and Clogged Duane as gross-looking kids with abilities to help others.
Series stars the characters Split Kit, Elliot Mess, Terri Cloth, Patty Putty, and Clogged Duane as gross-looking kids with abilities to help others.